30 compressions, 2 breaths.

I feel like I need to give this blog CPR, cause it was DYING.

I went through just about 300 posts from about the end of last year to a few days ago.
my, my, how quickly things change. Deleted almost all of them, give or take about 9.
I feel as if the start of this new year really WAS a clean slate. when I go back through my crap, it really feels like it is.
and I wanna make this year one I can be proud of.

There's some things I've been thinking about..

One, I think I'm slowly changing my mind again on what I want to do exactly in the future. I thought I had my heart set on fashion, but I'm slowly changing my mind.
If I think about it, I don't want to associate myself with most of the people in that business. I don't even CARE about trends and being in style and all that useless shallow shit. I just like cute stuff and dressing the way I want to. Besides, doing something with a little bit more stability and something that doesn't just rob people's credit cards would be nicer.
I'm thinking about going into the medical field. By medical field, I mean pharmacy. It's simple, you get paid a hella lot, and I like medical stuff so why not?
eh, it's just a thought. it's been my backup plan for a while.
I don't really need to know what I want to do, and it's nothing to stress about so I'm just not gonna worry about it for now.

Two, I decided I want to start to volunteer somewhere.
I REALLY want to help around an old folks home, but a hospital would also work out. I've been wanting to do it for soooo long, I'm ready to start.
I'm gonna talk to the parents about it later, and see what they think and help me out finding places I can go. :D

Third, I'm still 50/50 on getting a job this summer. idk what to do still. we'll see what happens.

and on a totally different note, getting back into guitar and a little bit of lyrical stuff has been good for me.
It's like my get away. I love going downstairs and seeing my notepad next to my guitar and book of chords. I think it's cause I'm like my dad, his getaway is working on that old car of his. Mine is musical stuff, even just listening to music puts me in that feeling of pure ecstasy. I love it.
even violin is getting less of a pain in the ass. I hate playing it at times, but when you put all the parts and instruments together, it creates a giant musical orgasm.
it's freaking amazing.